Magic words to use with young children
Monday, October 8, 2012
It’s golden in the treetops,
It’s golden in the sky,
It’s golden in the treetops,
October’s passing by.
These early autumn days are lovely and golden. A shower of falling leaves in the sunlight reminds us of the magic of nature. Experiencing it with a young child can help us to remember the wonder of the world around us.
It is easy to be overwhelmed by the responsibility of being the object for your child’s imitation. As Sharifa says, we will never be perfect or even close. Sharifa writes, regarding her own struggles with her imperfection, “But I also knew that Love is perfect, and also perfectly reliable. So with all the imperfections that occur in a day, I always relied on Love, knowing in the end all my transgressions (against my own ideal, by the way, not theirs!) were washed clean by Love’s great generousity.”
There are a few magic words that can be very helpful in working with young children. “We” is one of them. The young child is not yet separate. They will find their way to “I” when they are ready, but to be “we” is wonderful for both parent and child. It is also useful as they get a little older and start comparing what your family does to other families to say “In our family, we…”
Another magic word for the young child is “may,” eg:”You may sit down.” It is amazing what a powerful word “may” is. Give it a try (you may), and leave off the “ok?” at the end, ok?—I still slip on that one sometimes.
Also, when answering a child’s questions, remember where they are developmentally. He is still at one with the universe. In our excitement to share the world with our children and to give real answers to their questions, we can become too conceptual and scientific. But our children are still in the age of wonder. Try to hear what stands behind the question. Affirm his curiosity and joy in discovery. It is perfectly fine to say, “I wonder about that, too.” If you leave an opening, you might be amazed at what your child has to say about things.
Happy fall! See you next week.